shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
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We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
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I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
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