That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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