Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
