I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
only if we run a train.
done.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I think I just shit out all my problems.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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