Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
