Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
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It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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