I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
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You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize