It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
