Banned from zoo.
Again?
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Randomize
