She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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