man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize