If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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