my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
