He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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