PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
i out mim tonsoeep
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
