Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Randomize
