How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
