so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Vodka?
Forever.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
