my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
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