Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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