that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
We just shotgunned beers for America
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
