Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
