Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
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