Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
