Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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