Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
