onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize