Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Randomize
