dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
