3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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