she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
