I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
