thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
