i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
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