Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
