I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
