I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
