so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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