I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
