I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
