just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
