If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
