Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
