doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
