we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
