I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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