Nicole vs. Life
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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