just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
How's work?
Spinning.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
