We are two peas in an std pod
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
