I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
You were trust falling into bushes
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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