I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize