Having a random hookup so left but love u
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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