the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
