People in love make me want to vomit
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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