turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize