I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
