So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
