she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
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