im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize