I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
This is the high leading the old right now
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
