nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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